Being stuck up with a catheter
is a water works anathema
no feeling of a pressing urge
or satisfaction with the purge.
no whizzing round the porcelain
or flushing of the cistern
no baptising of the wall
it's a self containing system
but looking on the bright side .
the resevoir's half full
you can sit and watch the telly
and not ever need to mull about
a frantic need a lightening dash
when desperately you need a splash
crucial moments you need never miss
a wee dram’s idling sedentary bliss.
Written by Nobby Clarkson