Thursday, 31 January 2013

Everybody’s Having One




I may have missed the point somehow
it seems there’s something going down
bursting through are grand awakenings
on the street all over town

I can sense a tense of eagerness
a sort of tasteful hyper charge
among the trendy chic and fashionable
the latest thing with those at large

The crux it seems is quite old hat
a tired long gone theophany
its widespread use is odd abstruse
A glib clichéd  epiphany


I suppose it used to be something like 
'You'll never guess what?' 
Nowadays it is more often  "Said Bethany to Tiffany I must share my OMG epiphany."

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Of Words In Deep Water




I hear the songs
I hear the voices
I hear the words
of limited choices


I hear the bleeding
I hear the pleading 
I hear the yielding
words of needing


I hear resistance
I hear the slaughter
I hear the rising tide
Of words in deep water


Breakfast Headlines




Who’s doing what to whom right now
as we hear it on the news
the lovely pair in the comfy chair
ring out loud our daily blues

Everything that’s most atrocious
in a gift wrapped smiley frame
they hotly grill the expert
with interruptions laying blame

One wonders why they call them in
So little is revealed
blithely butting in aggressively
rancid comments news congealed

So let’s get on we super two
flirty fluttery cuddly views
Ensuring misery disperses
on breakfast cereal sugary news



Sunday, 27 January 2013

The Coffee House Louse

Cheap Shots! Not in our coffee.


Starbucks are not happy
with David Cameron it seems
a clot has soured the coffee cup
it may impact investment schemes


Pouring ice in Starbucks coffee
a most pleasant thing to do
although a carping Mr Cameron
adds too much salt into the stew


Wake up and smell the coffee
a cheap shot chasing cash
it’s not good sense politically
to give employment hopes a bash


Our Mayor of London’s steaming
at the Cameron coffee cloud
weighing heavy on the bevy
is affecting Starbucks crowd

Friday, 25 January 2013

By George! Plan B?? Who Me??









On matters economically
and all thing monetarily
lies vain intractability
sagging lagging dilatorily

The Chancellor most verily
does not do arbitrarily
alternatives contrarily
leave him hanging on foolhardily

No plan ‘B’ he mentions cockily
for he thinks he’s most almightily
content with gross austerity
extremely right audacity


Great fun doing this rhyme. Using newspaper articles and a web I often use:



 Rhyme Zone Link

The Table





The table waits to be defined
employed in many ways
to eat or write to just sit tight
play games on rainy days

For gatherings of families
or terse negotiation
so important is the table
for the sake of declaration

Thursday, 24 January 2013

As I Was Saying


I almost missed 'word of the day' yesterday 'Doryphore'





So always first to criticise
pragmatic unromantic
to nitpick every minor point 
a doctrinaire pedantic


Plodding out and spouting forth
as might a pointless crashing bore
condemning truth unfathomable
pray silence say no more


Raining down resentful spears
verbal ranting septic spore
your arrows dulled have fallen blunt
no one is listening ‘Doryphore’

The Awkward Conjecture



Misplaced assumptions
Cause misunderstandings
Laden with risky effect
For positions demanding
More closer inspection
May indicate lack of respect

The vanished perspective
Gains no reward
Opinion seemingly senseless
To be spurned or ignored
Without explanation
A pose exposed as defenceless


Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The Exonerated Goat




Jimbo Bazoobi has the goat
They’ve tested him in law
with horticultural predilections
His goat prefers a cultured gnaw


Chomping local  pansy’s
gnashing orchids as a treat
a rustic ruminant bon vivant
every crocus at its feet


The case has been contested
favouring Jimbo and the billy
the goat now vindicated
Leaves prosecution looking silly

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

The Feathered Bed of Bunco

Accountants' survey finds employee fraud doubled in a year as Britons 'seek to feather their nests'

Read more: http://www.theweek.co.uk/business/51116/fraud-britain-reaches-new-high-says-kpmg-survey#ixzz2IjMNx1Vi



Whoever you rub shoulders with
in the City where you linger
a well drawn sword of corporate fraud
amid The Hood and Crooked finger


Your padded pockets fill your quilt
with ‘self fulfilled’ duck down
as you quaff and scoff ill gotten gains
never pausing once to frown


You stand their proud invincible
amazed at how you think
no time for whingeing loser tales
not even noticing the stink

No Bones about Flintstones




The wealthy folk of Saudi
such amazing choice of bling
crystal esplanades supreme
so up to date with everything


Lavish splendid palisades
adorn with condescension
treasures won from fossil fuel
dinosaurs one best not mention


Dinosaurs are worrying those
from the C-P-V-P-V
promoting virtuous vice prevention
where only ignorance is free


Massive evidence of dinosaurs
causing thought police to hustle
imposing ludicrous restrictions
flexing inquisition’s muscle


Sunday, 20 January 2013

The Cock Eyed Optimist




Looking on the bright side
from time to time you might
ignoring minuses and negatives
and all sorts out of sight

Cheering up and grinning
when you feel you may well cry
smiling when you’re furious
upfront bravely with a sigh

Seize the opportunity
where difficulties lie
that was Albert Einstein
don’t give up just have a try

Gone to Waste



The monumental trash bin
A testament to waste
Full of remnants now discarded
Once thought of as good taste
They stand there in my garden
An extension of my palace
On hot days smelly rancid
Life's plastic poisoned chalice
If they could speak they'd tell us
About the stuff we throw away
Like unnecessary packaging
Sucking blood from hard earned pay



Saturday, 19 January 2013

Pseudologia Fantastica





Along the way you may have met
some folk who spin a line
they speak of most amazing feats
weird facts that intertwine


The tale is told emphatically 
no chance it may be true
with astonishing incredulity
verbal trickery they imbue


This artless verbal flatulence
one may never ascertain
pathologically fictitious
almost certainly insane


Thursday, 17 January 2013

How well it can the Pelican

This neat poem about a Pelican was brought to my notice recently. It is written by Dixon Lanier Merritt (1879 – 1972). Edward Lear also wrote a nonsense verse and song about the Pelican. Merritt's poem seems to be the last word on Pelicans so I thought I would consult a few rhyming aids and have a go myself.
(As beneath the picture below)


A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican,
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm darned if I see how the hellican!


How well it can the Pelican

Most gregarious the water bird Pelican
with a pouch the size of a jerry can
cooperative feeder colonial breeder
when in flight is far from pedestrian

Such a wonder the avian Pelican
guzzles much more than a Gannet can
Soar glide or skim whatever its whim
so quick of the mark this antelucan




(Antelucan: of the time just before daybreak)
I know very little about Pelicans apart from that John Grisham novel.
The special info included here was taken from Wikipedia Link

Empty Holes of Plenty




When the keepers of the fairway
check the score with eagle eyes
and Rory with his clubhouse cheque
Has eyes on Tigers prize

As price defines what fans must wear
well placed orders from the brand
just in case you’re not on message
the hype will help you understand

The golfer swing a fad in-thing
whether Callaway Cobra Ping
for one hundred fifty million
we so prefer the Nike thing

The badge is now the powerhouse
with or without it feel the sneer
and if the payout is phenomenal
Tell them McIlroy was here



Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Morning Glory Supper



Taking chancy unsafe bets
when eating on the hoof
if there’s an even money option
you’d do well to ask for proof

The bookies favourite burger
if you like to study form
in the bag it’s a one horse race
takes the Bobtail Nag by storm

When eating at a canter
try a real backwoodsman treat
sink deep those Billy Bob gnashers
‘spread a plate’ of galloping meat

Bar-b-Q’s are serious things
on the global wending way
a manly sling on the griddle brings

no radish sauce horse play

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Spicey Dicey Catastrophe


Chinese billionaire dies after eating poisoned cat stew
kicks off a year of poisoners.


‘Two O Twelve’ a venomous year
be careful what you eat
whether vegetables or pastries
or some unsuspecting meat


Long Liyuan the billionaire 
had chomped his final chew
a sprinkled dose of heartbreak grass
that got him in a stew


It seems there’d been embezzling
somebody nicked some cash
and as a method of repayment
put Gelsemium in the mash


Unlike that gal from Brisbane
who polluted her pal’s cookie
Long Liyuan the billionaire 
had a preference for pussy


It tastes like bunny rabbit
I’ve heard many people say
they served a dish of hot pot foul
a cats revenge that day