Monday, 28 October 2013

Very Lost For Words

I am told that use of the word 'Very' is not literarily correct!
Well thanks very much, I'm very upset about that.

Words in use so very many
Defines a writer’s voice
Counting equals content
and 'very' emphasis of choice

In the finery of palaces
very joyful in corroboree
so very self importantly
‘very’ underlines a snobbery

Used in anger or a compliment
adds very essence to attention
in a bankrupt mind of word ideas
The 'very' word one must not mention

Thursday, 24 October 2013

As A Matter of Fact

When debating a ludicrous notion
If all is it at sea in the ocean
Or whether today is yesterday night
Maybe vanishing cream a demotion

Is your point of view a promotion
From a lifetime of thoughtful devotion
Conjuring dreams of preferable schemes
close to inventing perpetual motion

Do black holes create by implosion
Does knowledge degrade with emotion
Is the colour of green a sign of serene
Born out of continual erosion

Do all things begin with commotion
Ground and mixed up in potions
Perhaps you and I are not what we see

Just products of timely explosions

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Amazing Pace

Dave Allot is an old sea dog, a trawler man no less.He is a tough old bird and that's for sure. He recently suffered a stroke whereby he became paralysed and lost all speech. This is a truly devastating situation and swift attention is vital. He was administered a  most remarkable medication and within a few days back home walking and talking in his usual manner.

Stroke Patients Who Reach Hospitals Within 'Golden Hour' 
Twice As Likely To Get Clot-Busting Drug

 As a leg-pull I penned a cheeky rhyme and Dave asked me to post it on this blog.

Trawler man Dave Is a cheerful bloke

We were most upset when he had a stroke

Dorothy his wife didn't hang around

At Mach-one speed he was ambulance bound

He lost his speech limbs paralyzed

within rapid time hospitalized

they looked him over worked out a plan

shoved him in a tunnel and gave him a scan

They diagnosed Dave as a serious clot

Administered medicine to the perilous spot

Even doctors were amazed at his rapid healing

Walking, talking, singing songs with feeling

Four long days later sent home to his clan

Even Doctors applauded our miracle man

Many thanks to the scientists, the medical team

Who returned our Dave with a full head of steam

Monday, 21 October 2013

Zing Went Zhang’s Ring

When attending ones ablutions
be observant be alert
Take extra care with valuables
absent mindedness avert

Be warned, I read an article
A Chinese guy called Zhang
In a shower flipped his wedding band
Where from his soapy finger sprang

Then down the squatty potty 
to his horror lost his ring
at lightning speed he plunged his mitt
Alas he could not feel a thing

He screamed out 'call the fire brigade'
It seems his search was out of luck
Much fumbling in the drains remains
his swelling metacarpus stuck

They came with drills and hammers
to excavate his bowl trapped claw
his pit stained mitt the stench of it
they gagged to free his septic paw

It seems his ring has gone for good
causing many sleepless nights
all that affluence now effluent 
He’s filed a claim for squatter’s rights

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Merry Weather

Nights are getting longer
Daylight passing quicker
autumn wind is blowing cold
as bus queues groan and bicker

Mornings now devoid of good
Heavy clouds are raining sad
Apart from ghouls at Halloween
We're on the lighter side of bad

Costly comfort bills are rising
the well worn overcoat is on
our optimistic family car
Sounds more like a dying swan

Our garden built on summer dreams
looking saggy dank lackluster
is showing signs of self-composting
Pre-empting winter's knuckle-duster

Monday, 14 October 2013

Discounted Savings

The autumn sales are beckoning
I've hidden all the cash
Just in case she has a mind
To be impetuous and rash

She mostly has the upper hand
her rationale is smooth as honey
'Look at what I bought today
I've saved you so much money'

We have a modest budget
though savings never seem to grow
Moreover quite the opposite
On the downward side of low

Quite skilled with crosswords puzzles
on points of money I'm perplexed
With all those shopping savings
Our empty coffers have me vexed

The answer finally came to me
In a blinding obvious flash
Summer Autumn Winter Spring
Slashing prices slice your cash

Goodness me! I hear ecstatically
I have to grab that it’s so nice
Only yesterday two thousand bucks
A blinding steal at half the price

Friday, 11 October 2013

A Chilling Tale

Cryonics - STORY LINK
I have the most amazing wife
adept at all preserves
Pickled onions pickled eggs
Jam and Marmalade conserves

The other night I mentioned
there are ways to live forever
Packaged cryobiologically
Payment terms on 'Never-Never'

She looked it up and checked it out
so thoughtfully so nice
Then bought a new chest freezer 
part filling it with ice

She placed some duck down bedding
I climbed within to try it
Once again she proved to me
When made at home no need to buy it

Passing me my tablet
to check the battery life
Then filled the freezer to the top
such a kind and caring wife

It must be me at my old age
though technologically quite bold
Too long I feel this product trial
I'm now quite numb and very cold

If anyone should read this mail
With experience in locks
I will appreciate you tell my wife
I feel that death is on the rocks