A Chilling Tale

I have the most amazing wife
adept at home preserves

Pickled onions pickled eggs
Jam and Marmalade conserves

The other night I mentioned

there are ways to live forever

Packaged cryobiologically

Payment terms on 'Never-Never'

She looked it up and checked it out

so thoughtfully so nice

Then bought a new chest freezer 
part filling it with ice

She placed some duck down bedding

I climbed within to try it

Once again she proved to me
When made at home no need to buy it

Passing me my tablet

to check out the battery life

Then filled the freezer to the top
such a kind and caring wife

It must be me at my old age

though technologically quite bold

Too long I feel this product trial
I'm now quite numb and very cold

If anyone should read this rhyme

With experience in locks

I will appreciate you tell my wife
I feel that death is on the rocks