Friday, 31 January 2014

Game Changer

Tie me awhile a Friday night smile
To ease off our credits and gains
Give us a draught of sedative laugh
Cool air on our strings and refrains

I have much to consider
Songs and rhymes to complete
Feel I’m treading on teardrops
soaked right through to my feet

Don’t come around here grinning
In your copse mop cotton hat
Spouting 'lost weekend' waffle
And all that Saturday morning chat

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

FA Queues

If your exciting recent purchase
Doesn’t do what it should do
Putting paid to expectations
To leave you sadly pastel blue
Get on the phone and make a call
Select a pathway to success
Pressing umpteen bloody numbers
Achieving nothing but distress
Wait your turn we know you’re there
Robotic whispers in your ear
And just for training purposes
We make recordings have no fear
Our call rate is quite high today
You’re number eighteen on the list
You may try our on-line services
For those problems that persist
And if you do I’m sure you’ll find
A host of so much more to do
Enlightened by such lunacy
That lurks among the FAQ
I’ve tried it out so many times
Reading every frequent question
Finding answers most infrequently
Inflicting chronic indigestion
I would love to end this jabber
With an upbeat point of view
Instead I recommend not bothering
With that 'sweet nothing' FA Queue

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Knot! On Wood

Peter the Painter man of the brush
colour coded Da Vinci serene

He goes with the grain tying up knots
gives your surface a velvety sheen

Always on top with your paint in his pot
Pulling strokes with his overcoat on

No drips does he drop avoids any slop
such decorative style thereupon

Notorious Knotter from Brooklands Road Hull

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Gilded Lilly

Golden leaves fall 
rusty in her garden
Pearls of wisdom 
disregarded all in vain
She doesn't need
a way-out definition
Can vanish in disguise
not feeling pain
Her cloaks put colour
in her rainbow
She wears them out
impressively unpaid
Cut and tailored 
without trace of imperfection
In a troupe of surface 
sentiment hand made

Friday, 24 January 2014

Tell Me About It

What was it like when you were young?

What was it like in the olden days
she looked at him sincerely
Was life completely black and white
He drew breath to answer clearly

Lives back then for me at least
was not so much a mystery
although anyone and everyone
had a different take on history

Friends and enemies danced and pranced
disappearing in the mist
peppered pockets full of anecdotes 
a self obsessing must do list

It would be nice to learn the lessons
Written down in some old book
as though opinions of another time
might validate what we mistook

This place where we are standing
In terms of time somewhat aloof
Objectively subjectively
will take you nowhere without proof

Thursday, 23 January 2014


Heavens above it’s Luna my love
He howled in sheer delight
Shadowy clouds have sailed away
All my darkness taken flight

Nightly needs at last returned
My senses tickety-boo
Celestially my starlit eyes
Turning tides aside for you

The night is ours together again
As you reflect on my delight
Released to roam and ruminate
Our heavy troubles travel light

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Inky Pinky Pen And Ink


Reynard the Rover a man of the stash
Money bags bulging stuffed with cash
sensibly shrewd not known to be rash
Will charge the night to a 'Dollar Sign' flash

His prominence known for his moonlight splash
Not a sour cent traceable to moonshine mash
irrreverent reference to a tag with a 'Hash'
Any oversights underspent discarded as trash

Like a long horn bronco from the low grown ash
He's a Texas 'Tea Boy' at a barn dance bash
A fleet foot runner from the Wall Street crash
Stitched deep inner lining where the blues can't clash

Monday, 20 January 2014

Somebody Grilled My Gills

I'm all tied up I locked my hem
when buttons wouldn't do
sleeping on the forest floor
recalling what is who

Talking to a passing frog
thinking chicken soup
with limiting ingredients
I can't escape this chowder loop

Encompassed in my landed plot
hearing threads that ebb and flow
considering ones onions
when dining out with Al Fresco

Friday, 17 January 2014

More Wandsworth than Wordsworth

Wondering lonely in my icloud
A host of gold card bills unpaid
Angry crowds approaching me
I took to the hills where oft I’d strayed

I came across a lakeside parlour
Danced among the tidal laps
And winking at the sky above
In the margins of my sad mishaps

I popped a champagne cork with glee
Considered all things healthily
Dancing gold cards fluttering free
Through my window peering stealthily

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Pompous Nobbery

Beware the sneaking predator
With agendas up their sleeve
Interrogate your inner mind
Grinning furtively they leave

They ask you for esteemed advice
Your opinions plead to share
Then blatantly do other things
To leave you hanging in the air

It’s a form of mental bullying
A sleight of mind to their delight
A sneak thief of your ego
Will undermine and dim your light

Philosophically they’re after you
Don’t stand too near the plughole
They’ll suck you into sewage pulp
Feigning shock if you scream ASKHOLE!

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Pressurised Dave is Steaming

Dates, times and appointment crimes
Indifference without shame
All promises made with caveats
Deny commitments prior claim

Tell them Thursday Jonny boy
Forget the week commencing
All squeaky wheels we must oil first
It’s a game of walls and fencing

The customers must wait their turn
In this mattered world of ‘Ish’
We are the much sought after boys
We there for you whenever we wish

Harping on and carping off
A dicey game we don’t do nagging
should you offer too much grievance
We’ll leave you cold and lacking lagging

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Ramus a Bones Head of Contention

Ramus seems a pleasant chap
His smile somewhat eternal
But he has a one-way talking head
His lack of listening skills infernal

Ramus says our days are few
He wafts his book as perfect proof
Quoting ‘good news’ passages
To us fallen folk aloof

“Now Ramus you hold on there
I have another point of view
I can’t believe those written words
Contradictorily untrue”

His smile remains a golden gleam
a miner’s lamplight blinding
ears clogged up with rapture
His collar tightly binding

All around our neighbourhood
This uninvited guest
Will ring our bell and rap our door
Proclaiming Jesus loves you best

Enough, enough we must speak up
Enduring myths most famous
Don’t quote us words as evidence
We are the types who ignore Ramus

Friday, 10 January 2014

Neville Breville

Madness not to keep your hat on

Whether on the go or resting
Most people will agree
Irrespective of your preference
Everything stops for tea

Partaking of a comfort cup
Restores ones sanity
Whether mayhem, pandemonium
Everything stops for tea

If for you this ditty strikes a chord
And you haven't time for tea
If the kettle takes too long to boil
get Neville Breville just like me

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Hey Cunningham !!!

Henry Winkler’s got it made
on the streets of our square mile
he can march across old London Bridge
with his goat in single file

He can walk in drunken stupor
with his naked sword unsheathed
no chance of being press ganged
our Lord Mayor’s Charter has bequeathed

Happy days in London town
its thumbs up for the Fonz
should they need to stretch his neck at all
they’ll hang him high in silken bonds

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Approximately Dylanesque

When all your winners and celebrities
have disappeared of late
leaving little else but memories
like stale breadcrumbs on your plate

When all the ice cubes in your cocktails
have diluted all your strength
and those who queued to share your light
now never nearer than arm's length

Will your promise made with emptiness 
recall the piper's debt unpaid
to the tune of something out of key
when you believed you had it made

Queen Jane Approximately - Bob Dylan
"When your mother sends back all your invitations
And your father, to your sister, he explains
That you're tired of yourself and all of your creations,
Won't you come see me Queen Jane?
Won't you come see me Queen Jane?"

Lullaby For You

I wrote this new day lullaby
to turn your dark sky blue
sleep quietly and wake up bright
to all those things you like to do

You can sing it as you feel it
Make up other words that rhyme
Sharing harmony with pleasure
rhythmic beating hearts in time

As morning light shines in your eyes
to paint a picture in your mirror
with silver streams and starlight sprays
'words of love' will sound much clearer