I have the Dog and Bone to Pick

Oh telephone most splendid tool

A notable invention

To communicate across the globe

A challenge to convention

Anytime of night and day

Engaged in conversation
around the world and back again

A call to any nation

Oh telephone you masterpiece
a conqueror of time
instant information
unbelievably sublime
through Cityscape or wilderness
our messages are sent
ideas exchanged and rearranged
in joy or sad lament

Oh telephone you brought us hope
to freely give our word
at any given moment
calls were listened to and heard
but that was then some time ago
a vague and distant place
numbers dialed our handsets linked
at swift conferring pace

Oh telephone, oh telephone
it’s all gone badly wrong
I call my local government
speak with someone in Hong Kong
they ask confounding questions
as to why I made the call
about my local issue
On which they have no clue at all

Oh telephone how once you were
so helpful in my quest
I used to call and get someone
who tried to do their best
no more do corporations
serve well the people on their line
robotic voice’s blandly

Seeking numbers one to nine

Oh telephone my final word
upon this subject I must say
me like countless millions
languish daily in dismay
our telephone enquiries
now a waste of so much time
for nobody is on the line
and nobody gives a dime